The Fushigi Yugi Christmas Concert!
by Enchanted Oasis
Summary: Well, it's a concert, complete with songs and a version of Scrooge! Come and join us as we mock just about every Christmas thing out there! Please r/r or else I will be sad!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi...but the songs are mine....however one or two have just had words changed around...if you see a song that looks like yours, please tell me in a review and I will give you credit for the original! And now...Without further adieu....(is that right?) THE FANFIC!  
  
(The Stage is completely black. Danielle (that's me! The author! ^_^) comes out on the stage and a spotlight follows. "Why helllooooooo everybody! *sings* It's the most wonderful tiiiiiiiime of the yeeeeeeeeeeeeear! And do you know what that means? That's right!! It's time to hear the Christmas Concert! Fushigi Yugi style!!! Please note that a bunch of my friends and myself will be making appearances. So everyone, please remain in your seats, and prepare for the scariest thing you'll ever see! Err-read...OH WHATEVER!" Spotlight goes out.

  
Light on Chorus

  
** Tamahome the Suzaku Seishie** *to the sound of Rudolph*

  
Tamahome the Suzaku Seishie! (Seishie)   
Had a very glowy forehead! (like a light bulb)   
Most those who ever saw it (saw it)   
Never left cuz they were dead!   
All of the other seishie's! (seishie's!)  
Used to laugh and call him names!   
They never let poor Tamahome (Tamahome)   
join in any sieshie games! (Like beating Nakago)   
Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Miaka came to say ("I'm hungry")   
Tamahome with your forehead so bright!   
Won't you guide me to the kitchen tonight?   
Then All the Sieshie loved him! (loved him)   
As they shouted out with glee!   
Tamahome the Suzaku Seishie (sieshie)   
You'll never let us go hungry!  
  
applause  
  
Danielle comes back out, this time accompanied by Marianne, who is holding Tasuki, who is hog tied.   
"Well, wasn't that lovely? But what's Christmas, without decorations?" Danielle notices Tasuki's presence. "MARIANNE! Let him go! If you don't he won't play his part!"   
  
Marianne ignores Danielle, and proceeds to her line. "That's right Danielle! Decorations add to festive spirit! *mumbles : Who the hell wrote this script?* That's why we should deck the halls!" Marianne exits right, still holding onto Tasuki, who is trying to get to his tessen.   
  
Light On Chorus

  
** Deck the Halls**  
  
Deck the halls with drunken Tasuki!   
Fa la la la la, la la la la.   
Then take away all his sake!   
Fa la la la la, la la la la.   
Hotohori shows off his charming apparel!   
Fa la la la la la, la la la.   
While Chiriko sings a Christmas carol!   
Fa la la la la la, la la la laaaa.   
See the great Suzaku before us!   
Fa la la la la, la la la la.   
Make a wish don't make a fuss!   
Fa la la la la, la la la la.   
Miaka eats with lot's of pleasure!   
Fa la la la, la la la, la la la.   
While Tamahome sneaks off with treasure!   
Fa la la la la la, la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
applause  
  
Danielle comes out with Marianne again. "Well, wouldn't be an even better Christmas if it snowed? Well to bad...we don't have that song in the budget!" AN: What budget?>  
Marianne speaks up. "But we do have a version of Frosty the Snowman that you might like! You know I liked it!" She grins, and both walk off the stage.  
  
Light on Chorus  
  
** Tasuki the Pyro**  
Tasuki the pyro, was as crazy as could be!   
With some fiery red hair and a bad temper, he was as dangerous as could beeeeeeee!   
Tasuki the pyro! Needed some anger management!   
Drinking to much sake and cursing to often, he sure needed to vent!  
There must have been some magic in that old tessen we found....for when we placed it in his hand flames began to dance around!   
Ohhh, Tasuki the pyro, needed to be on his way!   
If you don't leave him alone and let him go, he will make you pay!  
Thumpity thump thump, thumpity thump thump, look at Tasuki goooo! Thumpity thump thump thumpity thump thump, melting all the snow!  
  
applause  
  
Enter Danielle with Jessica.   
"Well...that Tasuki! He's such a bad boy!" *screams from the female part of the audience, which is 97% of the crowd, can be heard.*   
  
"Yes he is Danielle! That's why we love him! *more screams* But now, let's hear a song on why you shouldn't be bad for Christmas!" Both exit right.  
  
Light on Chorus  
  
** Nakago is Coming to Town** - to Santa Clause is Coming to Town  
  
Ohhh, you better not shout, you better not cry!   
You'd better watch out, I'm telling you why!  
Cuz Nakago is comin, to town!   
He'll kill you while your sleeping!   
Or even while your awake!   
He don't care if you've been bad or good, just run for goodness sake! Ohhhhhh you better not shout, you better not cry, you better watch out I'm telling you why!   
Cuz Nakago is hunting, you doooown!!  
  
applause  
  
Danielle comes out accompanied by Laura.   
"And there you have it folks. I mean, who wants Nakago after them? I swear, I would be crapping bricks!"  
"But we love Nakago anyway, don't we folks?" *absolute silence*  
  
Danielle speaks up. "Well, I love him! HE'S SO COOL! Oh well, more Nakago for me! *cheesy grin* Anyways, this next song is for someone who wasn't quite bad enough for Christmas!" Both exit right.  
  
** I'm Getting Nothing For Christmas** - as sung by Amiboshi  


Light On Amiboshi  
  
Oh I'm gettin nuttin, for Christmas!   
Nanananananananaaaa  
Nakago the General, is maaaaaaaaad.  
Oh I'm gettin nuttin, for Christmas!  
Nanananananananana  
Cuz I haven't been all that baaaaaaaaaad!  
I didn't go kill Miaka (somebody snitched on me)  
I made friends with the enemy (somebody snitched on me)  
I put on the Suzaku clothes  
I did something's you don't wanna know  
I let my brother think I wanted to goooo  
SOMEBODY SNITCHED ON MEEE!   
Oh I'm gettin nuttin, for Chriiiiistmas!  
Nanananananaaaa  
Nakago the General, is maaaaaad!  
Oh I'm gettin nuttin, for Chriiiistmas!  
Nananananaa  
Cuz I haven't been all that bad!  
  
applause and Amiboshi exits right.  
  
Danielle comes out with Michael, who is grumpy about being here.  
  
"Wow, these people are so talented. It seems everyone loves Christmas, doesn't it?" *silence and Danielle elbows Michael to say his line*   
  
Michael speaks in a grumpy voice. "Oh, not everyone loves Christmas. In fact, we have something special to show all of you. It's about a very mean man who didn't like Christmas at all!"   
  
  
**Chichiri Scrooge**  
  
Scene opens with Scrooge in bed. Fog fills the room, and a ghostly figure appears.   
"_SCROOOOOOOGE_!"   
"Hm?"   
"_SCROOOOOOOOOOOGE_!!"   
"Huh? What the hell was that, no da?"   
"_Scroooooge! It is I! Your old comrad! Tasuki!_" Tasuki is shown in chains.  
"Tasuki no da? The one who died in the freak pyro accident? *mutters to self - they never did find out who blew up that cat...* "   
"*ahem* _ Yes...it is I!! I'm here to waaarn youuuu_."  
"Warn me, no da? Warn me about what? And why are you wearing chains?"  
"_I wear these chains to make ammends for my sins. This is why I am here to warn you, so that you shall not be fated as I am! Link by link, my chains grow longer! Link by link, they grow heavier. Chichiri Scrooge, understand and accept the Christmas Spirit. You don't want to spend an eternity with chains!_"  
"Accept the Christmas Spirit? Bah Humbug no da!"   
"_Three ghosts shall visit you_."  
"Um, no thank you no da."   
"_When the clock strikes one, the Ghost of Christmas Past will come. When the clock strikes two, the Ghost of Christmas Present will come. And when the clock strikes three, the Ghost of Christmas's To Be_!" Voice fades out and Tasuki disappears. Chichiri gets a glass of water, then goes back to sleep. The clock suddenly strikes one.   
"Wake up! Come on come on, I don't have all night!" Nuriko stands there with his hands on his hips.   
"Who the fuck are you, no da?"   
"I'm Nuriko, the Ghost of Christmas Past. Now hold on to the magical cross-dresser!" Nuriko grabs Chichiri's hand and they fly back through time.  
"Where are you taking me?"   
"To see your past Christmas's! I would like where your hating of Christmas began." They go back through time and land in a room. A man and a woman are together in bed passionately making love. "WHAT THE FUCK NO DA? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SHOWING ME THIS NO DA??"  
"Woops, wrong house."  
They travel again and land in a new room, where there is no tree, but there is a sickly woman lying down on a bed and a man next to her. A little boy tugs at the mans pants leg. "Daddy, aren't we going to celebrate Christmas this year no da?" The man leans down and pats the boy's head.   
"I'm sorry Houjun, but we aren't going to celebrate Christmas this year. Mommy is too sick, and this may be her last week here before she leaves us."  
"Where is mommy going?"  
"Mommy is going to heaven, Houjun."  
"When is mommy coming back?"  
"Mommy isn't going to come back."  
"Oh. Can I go with her no da?"   
Nuriko puts his hand on Chichiri's shoulder as he turns his head away.   
"I see. So is this why you don't like Christmas?"   
"Can we leave?"   
"Sure...how about a different Christmas?" They start to time travel again. They land outside where you see an older version of Chichiri, with a very fresh and still healing scar. He is walking towards a cemetery carrying flowers. He stops at two graves and places the flowers on them. He places his hand on each grave, letting his fingers travel the carved words of his best friend and his ex-fiancé. Biting his lip, he whispers "Merry Christmas." (AN: AWWWWWWWWW! *tear* ) He stands up and starts walking, then pauses, turns around, and stares at the graves before completely walking away.   
"So you gave up? On Everything?"  
"Please, just take me home." There is a whirlwind of color and they are back in Chichiri's real room. Nuriko is gone, and there was no sign he was ever there.   
Chichiri is quiet, then looks at his bed before going back into it. "This is all just a load of hooey no da."   
"Is it Chichiri?" The clock was suddenly striking two. Chichiri looks up and is startled to see Hotohori standing there.   
"OH MY GOD NO DA! DON'T DO THAT!!!"   
"Come on Chichiri, I think it's time you see something..." Hotohori pulls Chichiri away from the bed.   
"WHO ARE YOU? Where are you taking me no da??"  
"Oh, right...I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present, and I'm taking you to see the error of your ways." Hotohori leads him into town. "Look how you spent your day...you passed up this beautiful shop of mirrors without even buying one!" Chichiri sweat drops.  
"Mirrors? Who needs them. This whole holiday is a waste of time. Christmas! BAH HUMBUG NO DA!"   
"I'm sorry you feel this way Chichiri. Come on, let's look at something else. Look, there is the poor family that you just walked past without even noticing earlier this afternoon. Doesn't that little boy, Tiny Chiriko work for you? Couldn't you have given them a tip?"  
"It's their fault. They should know better than to be poor no da." Hotohori looks down at Chichiri.  
"Chichiri, they don't have a choice in being poor. This is how they are forced to live."   
"Bah humbug no da! Bah humbug! Now take me home, I'm getting cold!" Hotohori sighs, seeing that he isn't getting through to Chichiri Scrooge.   
Chichiri is suddenly dropped on his bed, and darts his eye nervously around the room. Seeing there is no one there, he sighs in relief and prepares to go back to sleep before hearing the clock strike three. "Oh noo, no da."   
A cloaked figure stands by his bed. Chichiri groans. "When will it end no da?" The cloaked figure does not speak, but points to the window. Chichiri looks at the window, and is startled to see an image. The image is of a very old Chichiri, who is obviously on his death bed. No one is there with him, no one consoling him, no one holding his hand. Chichiri Scrooge is left alone to die to alone, without a soul caring.   
Chichiri gasps. "W-w-what is this no da?" The cloaked figure does not answer, but points their finger again. The image in the window changes to a cemetery where a priest is leaving and a coffin is being lowered. The priest and two workers are the only ones there. The coffin cable snaps and it falls, and Chichiri looks closer and sees himself. "THIS ISN'T REAL! THAT IS NOT ME NO DA!" The old and dead Chichiri stares up lifelessly and accusingly. The real Chichiri starts cowering in his bed. "It isn't real. I'm right here. That is not me!" The cloaked figure finally speaks up. "Chichiri Scrooge...this is what will become of you if you continue living the way you are now. You will end up alone and forgotten by everyone. Scrooge, accept the Christmas spirit or accept your DESTINY!!"   
Chichiri wakes up in his bed in a cold sweat. The sun in streaming in his room. "W-what day is it no da?" He gets up and goes over to the window...at first a little scared to look at it. He finally does and sees everyone running about there regular daily activities. He sees a newspaper boy down and calls out to him. "Hey you! What day is it?" The boy looks up and raises his eyebrow.  
"It's Christmas! Everyone knows that!"   
"It's Christmas....it's Christmas! I still have time!" Chichiri gets ready and runs about. He goes over to Tiny Chiriko's house with a full fledged meal and lot's of money. He knocks on the door and goes in shouting "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" *chattering ensues and lots of things happen....cutting to the end...* Tiny Chiriko says, "God Bless Us Everyone!" and Chichiri adds in "No da!"  
Close Curtains  
  
applause  
  
Danielle comes out alone. "Well, wasn't that beautiful? We would like to use this time for an intermission. So please, come back after your nice and refreshed!"   
*Spotlight goes out* 

Ok...that's part one...I hope you all liked it, please come back for part two!


	2. Twelve Days of Christmas and MORE!

Part Two  
  
Disclaimer: still don't own em! *shifty eyes*  
  
Author's Note: Hello! Yes, I am back with part two, and rather quickly! A note to Little Ryoko : Thank you for reviewing! Also, I had absolutely no intention of insulting Chichiri, I only made him Scrooge for the fact of : 1. He has a sad past, and 2: the idea of hearing "Bah Humbug no da!" cracked me up. I'm very obsessed with him also, and even though I made Chichiri Scrooge a little sad *even I cried while writing it, and asking how I could do that to him!* I think it came out ok! I LOVE CHICHIRI! *huggles a Chichiri plushie* *closes door to room where you can see a quick glimpse of every Chichiri merchandise known to man, and you hear strange monk music coming from the room." Not that I hold a colt or anything *darts eyes*   
But anyways! If you feel the need to flame ::sad sigh:: please do it constructively. If you don't....::eyes water up:: YOU'LL HURT MY FEELINGS! YOU'LL BE EMOTIONALLY WOUNDING ME! PLEASE DON'T, OK? ::SNIFF:: Thank you! And now, on to part two!  
  
Stage is black once again. Danielle comes out holding big poster boards. She hands one to each section of the crowd. "Ok everyone. You will notice that one person out of everyone for twelve groups has a poster, right? Good, that is because we are going to d the Twelve Days Of Christmas! ^_^ You and the chorus will sing it, and when your number is called you will stand up for that part. This will be fun. Now, if everyone is ready...."  
  
Light On Chorus   
  
** 12 Days Of Christmas**  
  
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:  
A miko who eats too much. *the crowd stands up and holds their poster, which is Miaka in her priestess robes*  
  
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me:   
Two Shinzaho's *crowd holds up a picture of the necklace and mirror*  
and a Miko who eats too much.   
  
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me:  
Three good wishes *the crowd holds up a picture of a kanji, which is the sign on their forehead when they want to make a wish*  
Two shinzaho's  
and a Miko who eats too much.  
  
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:  
Four god beasts *crowd holds up a poster with Genbu, Byakko, Seiryuu and Suzaku on it*  
Three good wishes  
Two Shinzaho's  
and a Miko who eats too much  
  
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:  
Fiiiiiiive Dead Sheishieeeeeeeee *crowd holds pic of Hotohori, Nuriko, Chiriko, Mistukake and Tamahome(1)  
Four god beasts  
Three good wishes  
Two Shinzaho's  
and a Miko who eats too much.  
  
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:  
Six screwed up timelines *poster shows the Shi Ji Ten Chi Sho*  
Fiiiiiiiiive dead sheishieeeeee  
Four god beasts  
Three good wishes  
Two Shinzaho's  
and a Miko who eats too much.  
  
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:  
Seven Suzaku Seishie *poster shows all seven*  
Six screwed up timelines  
Fiiiiiiiiiiive dead shieshieeeee  
Four god beasts   
Three good wishes  
Two Shinzaho's  
and a Miko who eats too much.  
  
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:  
Eight smart Chiriko's *shows Chiriko reading a scroll*  
Seven Suzaku Seishe   
Six screwed up timelines  
Fiiiiiiiiive dead Seishieee  
Four god beasts  
Three good wishes  
Two Shinzaho's  
and a Miko who eats too much.  
  
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:  
Nine Mitsukake's a-healing *shows him healing*  
Eight smart Chiriko's  
Seven Suzaku Seishei  
Six screwed up timelines  
Fiiiiiiiiive dead shieshieeee  
Four god beasts  
Three good wishes  
Two Shinzaho's  
and a Miko who eats too much.  
  
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:  
Ten Chichiri's no-da-ing *picture shows a grinning Chichiri with the words "no da"  
Nine Mitsukake's a-healing  
Eight smart Chiriko's  
Seven Suzaku Seishie  
Six screwed up timelines  
Fiiiiiiive dead Seishieeeee  
Four god beasts  
Three good wishes  
Two Shinzaho's  
and a Miko who eats too much.  
  
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:  
Eleven Hotohori's a-gazing *poster shows him with a mirror*  
Ten Chichiri's no-da-ing  
Nine Mitsukake's a-healing  
Eight Smart Chiriko's  
Seven Suzaku Seishie  
Six Screwed up timelines  
Fiiiiiiive dead shieshieeeee  
Four god beasts   
Three good wishes  
Two Shinzaho's  
and a Miko who eats too much.  
  
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:  
Twelve Nuriko's a-cross dressing *poster shows him in both men and women's clothes*  
Eleven Hotohori's a-gazing  
Ten Chichiri's no-da-ing  
Nine Mitsukake's a-healing  
Eight smart Chiriko's  
Seven Suzaku Seishie  
Six screwed up timelines  
Fiiiiiiiive dead shieshieeeeee  
Four god beasts  
Three good wishes  
Two Shinzaho's  
And a Miiiiiiiko whoooo eats toooo muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch.  
  
applause  
  
Danielle comes out with all her friends. "*sigh* Well, Christmas is almost here, and we only have one act left for it!"  
Laura speaks up. "Now we are going to show you the true meaning of Christmas." *all exit right*  
  
** The Nativity**  
  
The curtains open to the left wing, where we see a cot full of straw. A man is sleeping in it, and the room starts to fill in with fog. Suddenly, Hotohori appears, dressed in white and with wings. He is the angel Gabriel, and he is here to speak with Joseph.  
Hotohori : "Joseph, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For it is through the Holy Spirit that she is with child. She will have a son, and you will name him Jesus. And he will save everyone from their sins."  
*close curtain and switch scene's*   
*curtain opens in the middle to show a busy market place. People are milling about buying, selling, and watching. Shepards are everywhere, and a thief is sneaking around. Over the hustle and bustle, we hear a Roman soldier.  
Roman Soldier: "King Augustus has ordered that a count be taken. Everyone must return to the place of their birth!"  
Narrarator: and so Joseph took Mary to Bethlehem, which was the place he was born.  
We see two people riding up on a donkey, and the donkey is walking funny. As it comes closer we see it is Miaka and Tamahome acting as Mary and Joseph. The donkey is still walking funny, and from inside you can hear "Ow! Tasuki no da! We have to walk in sync! Or else they will know this isn't a real donkey!" 'Joseph' continues to pull 'Mary' on the donkey, and they get to the stage right before the donkey completely topples over. Tasuki pulls himself out of the donkey costume and stalks off. Chichiri pulls the head of the donkey off and quickly says "We were never here!" 'Joseph' leads the pregnant 'Mary' upstage and they walk around asking for a room. In the background, "Little Town Of Bethlehem" is playing. As the people say "no", they walk offstage an carry their carts with them. 'Mary' and 'Joseph' come to another innkeeper, who says they have no rooms, but they have a stable. They say they will take it, and 'Joseph' leads her to the stable.   
  
Narrarator: Mary was near birth, and needed a place to stay. A kind innkeeper took pity on them, and let them use the available stable. It was there that the savior was born.   
  
'Mary' holds 'Baby Jesus', being played by Chiriko, all wrapped up in swaddling cloth.  
  
Narrarator: "The new spread far and wide that the Messiah had been born. Shepard's came to the stable to visit the newly born king, and to pay their respects."   
  
The people who were on stage before come back and bow before the Messiah.  
  
Narrarator: "Now, three kings had heard of the Messiah, and were coming, their only light being the north star. *queue music, and We Three Kings play in the background* They came bearing gifts, gold, myrrh, and incense."   
Mitsukake, Nuriko, and Chichiri come up dressed and the kings, Chichiri holding the gold, Nuriko the myrrh, and Mitsukake the incense. They bring it up to were 'Mary' and the baby are. *Chorus starts singing "Alleluia!"*  
  
Everyone stands up and 'Angel Gabriel' is floating behind the stable. It starts to snow from the rafters.   
  
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!  
  
*curtain closes*   
  
Danielle comes out. "Let's have a round of applause for our chorus!"   
  
applause  
  
"And for our lovely actor's!"   
  
applause and screams  
  
"How about one more song for the road?" Everyone, including my friends and even somehow my younger brother Chris comes out to sing.   
  
** Jingle Bells**  
  
Jingle Bells, Tai Yi Jun smells,  
Miaka's hungry again  
Tasuki is igniting things with his tessen and the world is blown away. HEY!  
Jingle Bells, Violence Sells,   
the censors just kicked in.  
Now my beer is blue and clear  
can't they stay the hell away? HEY!  
Bashing through his foes, hiya hiya hiyaaa! Yay!  
Stop a sec to pose, but Nuriko's gay! (haa haa haa haa)  
Nakago say goodbye, Tamahome's forehead's so bright  
His hair is sticking up and now we'll see a seishie fight! YAY!  
  
End  
  
Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!   
Hmmm...maybe I should write a New Year fic! YOU TELL ME! ^_^


End file.
